Infancy

Will someone come when I cry?

I don’t know how the world works. I just know that I feel something — hunger, fear, cold — and I cry. Sometimes someone comes. Sometimes they don’t. I have no words, no logic, just the hope that someone will notice me. I don’t even know what I need, only that I can’t get it on my own. That’s my first truth: I can’t do this alone. And so the fear begins — the fear that maybe, no one will come.

• Uncertainty: Will someone respond when I cry?

• Fear of Failure: I might not get my needs met.

• Pursuit: Safety. A world that feels predictable.

Early Childhood

Will they still love me if I mess up?

I’ve learned some things now. Like how to say “sorry.” How to make people happy. If I’m good, they smile. If I do something wrong, they frown — or worse, they leave the room. So I try to be the best version of myself, even when I don’t know what I did wrong. What if love disappears when I’m not perfect? I start to believe I have to earn it. That love comes with conditions.

• Uncertainty: Is love conditional?

• Fear of Failure: If I mess up, I’ll lose love.

• Pursuit: Approval. Validation through goodness.

Do I fit in?

Now it’s not just my family. There are others — classmates, teachers, people with opinions. I see who gets picked for games, who gets praised in class. I start comparing. Am I funny enough? Smart enough? Cool enough? I watch others and try to match them. I try to shrink the parts of me that don’t fit. But deep down, I’m asking: “Am I enough to be chosen?”

• Uncertainty: Do I belong here?

• Fear of Failure: Being left out, overlooked.

• Pursuit: Friendship, inclusion, social identity.

Adolescence

Who am I really?

Now everything feels confusing. I don’t even know who I am. With some people, I act one way. With others, I change. I’m afraid that if I show the real me, they’ll turn away. So I become a collection of masks. And yet I ache for someone to see through them. To see me. To say, “That’s enough.”

• Uncertainty: If I show my true self, will I be rejected?

• Fear of Failure: Being too much or not enough.

• Pursuit: Authenticity that’s still accepted.

Early Adulthood

Am I on the right path?

Now the decisions feel bigger. What to study. Who to love. Where to live. Everyone seems to be figuring it out — getting jobs, getting married, moving forward. I try, but I feel unsure. What if I’m choosing wrong? What if this isn’t it? I keep chasing success, but I never feel done. Never feel settled. The uncertainty now isn’t just about others — it’s about me.

• Uncertainty: Is this the right direction for my life?

• Fear of Failure: Falling behind. Wasting potential.

• Pursuit: Purpose, progress, external success.

Midlife

Did I choose the right life?

There’s a quiet pause here. I’ve built something — a job, a home, maybe a family. From the outside, it looks like I did all the right things. But on the inside, there’s this voice asking: “Is this it?” I think about the dreams I let go of, the parts of myself I buried. It’s not that my life is bad. It just feels... incomplete. Like I followed a script that wasn’t fully mine.

• Uncertainty: Is this truly the life I wanted?

• Fear of Failure: Living a life that doesn’t feel like mine.

• Pursuit: Meaning, depth, and rediscovery.

Late Adulthood

Did it all matter?

Time feels shorter now. I look back more than I look ahead. I think about who I loved, what I gave, and what I’ll leave behind. Will anyone remember me? Did I make a difference? The fear now is quiet, but deep — not about doing more, but about whether what I did was enough. Was I enough?

• Uncertainty: Will I be remembered?

• Fear of Failure: Being forgotten. Living without leaving an imprint.

• Pursuit: Legacy. Peace. A life that mattered.